Self-Chosen Exile
August 15, 2008
Insecurity and a lack of confidence will hinder the growth of one’s consciousness. We macho Americans don’t quite know what to do with the loss of meaning in our lives or the inability to adequately control those things that we feel we must- which is almost everything. Such moments in life, which can extended into literally decades of ones life, cause us to pull within and cut-off what was once life to us.
Rich relationships of last year or even last month now grow dim.
Some people say they need a time-out, a resting period, or a sabbatical. By whatever name, the cutting off of a relationship, a dialogue in marriage, business venture, social group, or church will inevitably lead one to a place that’s not good. We can spend years building up an emotional bank account, even decades, and then cash out the account in a matter of days.
My friend Richard Rohr had this to say, “Marriages end when there’s a refusal to remain in dialogue. The very word diabolical means to “throw apart”. Thus the insidious nature of modern individualism. Much pulling back is not out of discernment so that I can hear better, like the desert retreats of Jesus. But a lot of pulling back is more often out of fear, and sometimes out of a contempt for others, or perhaps for the church because it has not served us well.”
We always hurt the ones we love the most.
People who are not at peace with themselves will ultimately not be at peace with anyone else and instead of dealing with that wound and making it a sacred hurt, we pick at the scab constantly, as Job did (2:8), and keep the bleeding flowing. Self hate begins with self-dissatisfaction and is more subtle to discern than the full blown flower.
Man was not meant to be alone, but to be put in families, communities, and the larger universe of the Spirit. Self-chosen exiles from one group will only teach us how to be exiled from the current group, and how to be exiled from that group and with each pulling away, we think we get better at justifying what really can’t be justified.
Where are you planted and have you been there long enough to produce fruit- in others as well as yourself?
Comments
Got something to say?











