The Shame Of Society

July 6, 2007

Every nation, culture, religious bias, and society has those areas where we are blinded to our lack of compassion. Some areas are so subtle and obscure that we have a hard time seeing the shame with our natural vision. Then there are other circumstances that are so obvious you wonder how such traditions can endure. One such example is found in India where some 40,000,000 widows are shunned by society and put out to pasture to die, cast off by their own natural children and loved ones. How can we let this happen in today’s world? Maybe it’s because most of the world is really not aware of what I’m about to share with you.

Ostracized by society, thousands of India’s widows flock to the holy city of Vrindavan waiting to die. They are found on side streets, hunched over with walking canes, their heads shaved and their pain etched by hundreds of deep wrinkles in their faces.

These Hindu widows, the poorest of the poor, are shunned from society when their husbands die, not for religious reasons, but because of tradition – and because they’re seen as a financial drain on their families. They cannot remarry. They must not wear jewelry. They are forced to shave their heads and typically wear white. Even their shadows are considered bad luck.

Don’t some traditions need to be changed immediately?

“Does it feel good?” says 70-year-old Rada Rani Biswas. “Now I have to loiter just for a bite to eat.” Biswas speaks with a strong voice, but her spirit is broken. When her husband of 50 years died, she was instantly ostracized by all those she thought loved her, including her son.

“My son tells me: ‘You have grown old. Now who is going to feed you? Go away,’ ” she says, her eyes filling with tears. “What do I do? My pain had no limit.” As she speaks, she squats in front of one of Vrindavan’s temples, her life reduced to begging for scraps of food.

One woman, a widow herself, is working for change. Dr. Mohini Giri has formed an organization called the Guild of Service, which helps destitute women and children. Giri’s mother was widowed when Giri was 9 years old, and she saw what a struggle it was. Then, Giri lost her husband when she was 50, enduring the social humiliation that comes with being a widow. At times, she was asked not to attend weddings because her presence was considered bad luck.

“Generally all widows are ostracized,” she says. “An educated woman may have money and independence, but even that is snatched away when she becomes a widow. We live in a patriarchal society. Men say that culturally as a widow you cannot do anything: You cannot grow your hair, you should not look beautiful.”

She adds, “It’s the mind-set of society we need to change — not the women.”

NOW!

Written by Ernie · Filed Under Daily Commentary